


Peaches in the trees, Peas on the vine

by Brasspistol



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: A story in which a Princess makes Rumpel be nice sometimes, Eventual snow and charming, Gen, I love the Princess and the Pea OKAY!, I made up a whole nother story line, eventual Rumbelle, i'm not even sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-08
Updated: 2012-10-09
Packaged: 2017-11-15 21:47:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/532126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brasspistol/pseuds/Brasspistol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What about all the other characters in fairytale land? What about Princesses that aren't in Disney movies? What if Rumple had a paternal streak?  What if it came partially from guilt, and the rest from a bargain he struck with a king?</p><p>My vision of The Princess and the Pea if it were to exist in Once Upon a Time</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A sleepless night, nothing new

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm bad at keeping up with RPs, and worse with plot bunnies, but Peach is the most insistent character I've had in years. Her fairytale counter part isn't much better! It may never end. Feel free to critique, or catch grammar stuff, since I attempted to self-beta.  
> This is set Season 1  
> After Ep 8, Desperate Souls

Patricia had tucked herself in bed a long day of balancing the books and the occasional sale had tired her enough that she wasn’t even tempted to go into her work shop. She had managed to call it an early night, and for a moment she was comfortable, but it wasn’t long before here eyes sprang open again.  
She traced the shape of her Buddha with her eyes that how it always started. In the dark shadows cast across the room she could still make out the lilacs in the flower vase, and her stack of dvds. Living right off one of the main streets in town meant street lights drifting into her room. Patricia, (usually called Peach) was just fine with that, living above her shop was incredibly convenient, but right now, her brain was on and the lights weren’t helping.  
Her bed was comfortable, swathed in tangerine sheets and her duvet was lovely, a light airy almost gold color with trees embroidered on it.  
She had a sanctuary for a room and an ocean of mattress, but, something was off. Something… Some…thing was making her miserable. In her lower back she felt a tingle, maybe more like a pinch.  
THERE  
RIGHT  
THERE

She leaned over, flicked on her lamp and threw herself out of bed, hiking her silky nightgown up her thighs she knelt down on the floor and reached under the bed, pulling out a storage container. There it was, a bright green pointy toed shoe.  
“You little fuck” she sneered at the thing, grabbing for it and fixed the arrangement of shoes until it all laid flat. She felt better already.

She stood feeling accomplished, and sleepy peace starting to actually settle into her, finally, sleep.  
The bed was empty, but it was better. Not that she had a man in her life since college, but she felt a fleeting spark of longing, like someone was supposed to be there. She shook it off, every single girl felt that way sometimes. Tonight was her time. She shook her head and hopped back in bed. A long lingering look around her room, and she finally turned out the light.

To dream of bigger beds, that were some how even less comfortable.


	2. A very merry un... what now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patricia called Peach has a standing birthday breakfast date with Mr. Gold

The sun seemed particularly bright for a little before 8 in the morning, but the Granny's seemed to have a healthy breakfast crowd regardless of the early hour or the sunshine.  
"Ruby my dear two very large slices of peach cobbler with caramel and a birthday candle in Peach's slice." Mr. Gold smiled, cats with a mouth full of canary must have learned their grins from Mr. Gold. 

"The birthday special." Ruby clarified.

"Exactly." Mr. Gold was practically chirping. 

Peach Burke swanned into Granny's, birthday glow already in full swing. She had a crown pin on the lapel of her tailored jacket, sparkling flats and complemented her flowing coral skirt, but nothing would quite out do her traditional birthday shirt. An old cotton t-shirt with "My Birthday is you unBirthday" Was emblazoned across Peach's bust, and for additional clarification Alice and a crew of Wonderland characters eating cake . Obviously faded, and a more than a bit stretched out as Peach wasn't exactly a small woman, but the shirt had been from when she had been much younger. 

Ruby mouthed 'Happy Birthday" while serving Leroy and the breakfast crowd at the counter. Ever since her father died Peach has had a standing birthday breakfast date with the formidable Mr. Gold. While it would be unusual for some to sup with their landlord Peach, who always paid on time, and never got the bark or the bite with Mr. Gold was a welcome guest.   
If she were going to be completely honest he was like an uncle or perhaps a godfather, he was the one who first called her Peach, he never forgot her birthday, and always seemed to know when a pang of loneliness would shoot threw her while she was at the shop. It was an easy, familial sort of chemistry, which more than once people had remarked at how odd it was that someone who was as cold and unscrupulous as Mr. Gold would have even a tiny chamber in his heart for kindness for anyone, let alone Patricia Burke. 

Later she'd let herself unpack all of her curiosities, of how Mr. Gold seemed to be honor bound to their birthday get "togethers", as if Daddy had made him promise, as if Daddy looked out from Mr. Gold's eyes sometimes, it was one of those strange things, one of those Storybrook things. 

She put down her purse and slid into the booth where Mr. Gold had already spread out, looking imperial in the vinyl upholstered booth. 'Happy birthday Peach" He beamed at her as Ruby brought them birthday cobbler.   
Peach watched as Mr. Gold made a small spectacle of her birthday as if he hadn't done if for every birthday since she came back from college, as if it was a new trick, pie for breakfast.   
Very few voices joined in the customary round of singing happy birthday to the lucky patron. The mayor's son drowning out all of the half hearted, half awake tones. Good ole' Henry. 

"Thanks everyone." She said before she blew out the candle. Peach was nothing if she wasn't a good sport (in public).   
She looked up at Mr. Gold , pulling the candle out and licking the crumbles and caramel off the end.   
"What did you do." she questioned him sharply. 

"I have no clue what you are referring to dearie." Denying any and all guilt was a Gold specialty. 

"The last time Granny's sang to me like that you turned the power off at Mr. French's shop." Peach took a swing of her coffee, not done stating her case, but needing someway to get the caramel off the roof of her mouth. "For two days."

Mr. Gold made various noise of protest, but stopped when he knew he'd been beat.  
"I may have given our new Sheriff the hero's pedigree she was lacking when she initially settled here. 

"I have got to start attending town meetings." Peach mused out loud, she didn't have any real commitment to it though. She wasn't very political. 

"Well she's sheriff and the flower shop has power do you need anything else?" Gold said lightly 

Peach had a list "Some new torch points, some more delicate looking silver chain, fancier display cases, oh and world peace." 

"Was any of that not related to your shop?" Questioned Gold.

"Nope, it's all for my business." Asserted Peach, spooning the caramel pond on the plate onto her fruity breakfast. 

"World peace sounded rather altruistic." Mr. Gold persisted, he put a tiny spoonful of caramel into his coffee. 

"Nope, if there's peace people will invest their new money (because obviously there will be new money for everyone) in leisure activities, and luxury items like handmade jewelry and trinkets." Peach took an enormous bite and gave him a puffy chipmunk-cheek smile. 

After chewing, swallowing and lingering on the peachy sweet taste Peach got back on task. "So how badly does the new sheriff hate you?" 

"Oiy, hate's a bit strong, she's just displeased with my." Mr. Gold paused "Manipulations." he persisted with semi-innocence, but that was a sham. 

"Well I for one am pleased as punch that one of Regina's goons isn't in yet another position of power." Her fork stabbed the air for emphasis.

"You're biased, I'm you're best investor." Mr. Gold countered, he was about to continue into And- when Peach picked up on the train of thought.

"And Regina hates my work." 

"And Regina hates your work." agreed Gold. 

"You know I made necklaces with tiny enamel apples on them just to get her attention?" Peach ran a finger through the dregs of the drizzle on the plate. 

"Don't think I did." Mr. Gold said drifting away from the conversation as he surveyed the faces left in Granny's. 

"She saw them and said something about them being too obvious. Then again what do I care, I able to turn one into something Ruby worthy and the other one is just pretty and is a decent example of my work. She babbled a bit when she got to towns people who just resisted being her customers.

"But still, to pass up a creation of yours made with such care, that's down right criminal." Gold reinforced his statement with a clinking of their coffee cups. 

"Anyone giving you the death stare behind my back?" Peach seemed to ask the air more than Mr. Gold. 

"Only the usual's." Gold sighed. 

"Well that's a nice manageable number." Peach grinned into her coffee cup. 

"So what are you doing to do for your Birthday Dearie? Surely breakfast with me isn't to be the only high light." Mr. Gold occasionally was still a father, someone's father, and since Peach was the only one here, today he was hers. 

"You'll be pleased to hear I'm not even fighting my destiny. I'm letting Ruby take me somewhere I can dance and hopefully very few pictures will be taken." She almost whispered, pictures of Peach shaking her, well, peaches seemed to always end up on Ruby's phone if they went out dancing, but this time she had sworn on a new necklace at the shop that only if the pictures was a once in a life time opportunity was Ruby allowed to take it. 

"A little birthday mayhem would be good for you." Gold sipped his coffee. "But I'm sure you'll be back in the workshop tomorrow, same as always." his lilt was extremely pronounced.

"Well," She wrinkled her nose and fiddled with her crown pin. 

"When you decided to sublet the house it was efficient and practical, " He took a sip of his coffee to let his words sink in. "So much older and wiser than your years. One night won't change your true nature, mature, steady, practical, reliable." 

Peach wrinkled her nose." Do you think that's best way to be? Practical,-- efficient." She started to gain some steam as a thought hit her, "Says the man who almost is all work and no play. Other than trips to my store do you go out without purpose? Without seeking to do something to get all of the puzzle pieces in their proper place?" 

Mr. Gold sighed defeatedly. "Well I can't ignore such an astute observation from such a wise source. I could do a bit better in life, and leisure. 

"Maybe that's really what I want for my birthday." Peach grinned and finished her cobbler, not letting on that Mr. Gold had gotten to her.


	3. What's it to you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first fairytale land chapter! We made it! I'm attempting to tell the story the way the show would, by going back and forth in time/and worlds. I wanted Peach's fairytale counter part to come up first, but you kind of need to know why Rum/ Mr. Gold is such an attentive godfather.

"My liege, I am here, what is your will." Rumpelstilskin's tone was biting more than pleasant, but he bowed grandly despite the meanness.

King Matthew almost dropped his goblet, his violet eyes as large as saucers. "Rum-Sir, Rumpelstilskin, I am happy to see that my little note found you so quickly." 

A chest of goods and a carefully worded letter reached had reached him earlier that day. Rumpel didn't come running when a royal called, but if one of the nobility was going to be nice about it, he must be desperate, and desperate was, much more appealing, irresistible even. 

"Can I offer you a seat sir?" Matthew was well versed in etiquette with fairies good and bad his rationale that Rumplestilskin was somewhere closer to the bad, but still more of a man than fairy.

"In a moment your highness, a study such as this needs a good turn about the room." Rumpel giggled. There were a fair number of books, and jars on the heavy wooden bookcases. Everything was out fitted in dark wood, and worn leather and yet, still plush. The thick glass windows were open to let in light, and a gentle breeze. Stacks of scrolls, large leather bound ledgers, and snowy white quills covered much the surfaces in the room. Two low tables next to the chairs boasted crystal decanters with amber toned liquid. Great strategies were born here, good stories were told here, it was obviously King Matthew's inner sanctum. 

After what Matthew would call a lengthy passage of time Rumpel turned to face him. "You called me here, what is it that you need?"

"It's my daughter-" 

"You need to find her a suitor, there's a spell cast on her-"

"No. No, it's just ever since her mother went missing," The King sighed, he wasn't sure how exactly to phrase it. The King's faltering gave Rumpel a moment to look at him. Unshaven, wrinkled wearing yesterday's robes, rings around his eyes. Matthew's grief had settled around him like a fog. 

"You've tried magic to find her?" Rumpel offered as kindly as he could manage (not that it was that kindly at all).

"Two fairies and one good witch, we cannot. I'm afraid we never will." He stopped to rub the stubble on his face. "Adelinde cannot be alone, what if something happens to me, she cannot be left to rule the kingdom without, without know how loved she is. Her mother's love made her strong, she made both of us strong." 

"I'm not hearing where I come in here sire." Rumpelstilskin remarked.

"She has to be looked after, she needs to know she's loved. Even when I cannot be-- I will not be king forever, and she's still so young. Laura and I never even had a chance to find suitors." 

"Now King Matty, I thought you said it wasn't suitors." 

"It's not!" The king shot straight up out of his chair. "It's not, well not yet. I know that will come, and with any luck," Matthew shook his head. Luck was not something he trusted right now, how could he leave Adelinde's life up to something as fickle as luck. "I want her to have the kind of love her mother and I shared. Alone, unloved, I can think of nothing worse." 

Matthew's voice turned small and quiet. "You have to find a way for her to be looked after always, for her to know how loved she is. She deserves a happily ever after, and you can see to it. Beyond luck, beyond circumstance, that she can live out her days happy, loved, and protected." 

"A fairy tale ending?" Rumpelstilskin glowed with pleasure. "Happy." He started low and even.

"Yes." King Matthew affirmed. 

"Protected." He raised his voice slightly. 

"Yes." King Matthew stood, resolute.

"Loved" His voice pitched slightly higher.

"Yes." King Matthew, dropped his glass, maybe it was too much wine.

"With her true love! And queen over the kingdom you both love so much." Rumpel's voice high and practically roaring. 

"With all my," The King gasped, he couldn't seem to catch his breath. With a trembling wheeze. "With all my heart."

"Done." Rumpel his giggle rang in the King's ears as he crumpled helplessly to the ground. "Kingie, you just gave most of your life for her happiness."

The king groaned in agony, his heart weakening beyond repair.

"Hope it was worth it." Rumpelstilskin disappeared into thin air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As most fairytale characters seem to have roots in 2 stories I took a little back story action style of fairytales, where a parent gives up a great deal to show their love. Nancy Holden did an interesting twist on it in "The Rose Bride". 
> 
> Again self beta-ed so if you see something, say something.


	4. Give a kid a blow torch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Storybrook real quick, because you've got to see Emma and Peach meet ;)

The bell on the door tinkled, but, Peach Burke, didn't hear it. She's humming along loudly to the instrumental music coming out of the speakers hidden in various nooks through out the store. Needle-nose pliers in one hand a fork in the other she works the tines into waves, she bites her lip slightly as she added more torque to her twirling hand. "Hello" A voice broke the happy buzz of concentration she had going. Her hand slipped, her pliers get the fleshy spot in between her thumb and forefinger. Blood starts to run from the nicked spot on her hand. "Shiiit" A moan of frustration more than pain. She let the fork drop onto her work mat, and reached for a tissue just next to the register.  
A more pronounced "hello" came from a bit closer inside the store.

Peach's rich brown curls waved over a shoulder as she craned her neck towards the door.  
"Yes?" Peach said she saw a wisp of blonde hair, she still clutched her hand, she started getting out from behind the counter. She held her hands in front of her chest in almost a mummified pose, curling the injured one closer to her chest, she took another few steps around a scarf tree. "Can I help you?"

"Yes, well at least I think you can. Henry speaks very highly of you." The sheriff was her usual busy self, giving Peach plenty of attention, but obviously looking to the next step, and probably the one after that.

"Well give a kid a blow torch." Peach smiles, her curls bounce a bit as she talks.  
Emma blanched, a look more like a worried Mom than a sheriff.

"It's a little one, I really just let him light it while I hold it. When he's older if he wants I'll teach him how to do a little soldering, it's a handy skill." Peach was earnest, using one's hands was something you could start at any age. "My father let me hold the soldering iron when I was his age. It's good to know you can control some things, that you can fix things, he knows he's not trained well enough to use any of my equipment though. Besides I keep all the acetylene under lock and key."  
Color came back into her cheeks slowly.

"Well you're the expert, Peach?" The name sat funny on her tongue. Women teaching her son how to hold blow torches shouldn't be something you put in your pie.

"It's Patricia, but it's Peach, as in bruises like one. Mr. Gold says it's much more due to my nature, but I think it's more the skin thing." Peach pulled some first aid ointment out of her pocket, wiped the wound, and dabbed a little on as if it's the most natural thing in the world.

"Well, Peach, I have a favor, they haven't gotten my name engraved on a metal plate to go under my badge yet, Graham's looked so much more official." She stops, running her hand over the badge.

"They tried to give you a crappy little plastic one instead of just having me engrave it huh?" Peach was pink with pleasure. "Daddy made Graham's, I always hoped I'd get to do one."

"Your Dad let's you do all the custom work as well as run the shop?" the Sheriff looked over the shop again, realizing most of the work in here must be hand made.

"Oh, well didn't really have a choice, Dad, passed on a few years ago, and I had always planned on coming back to take over the shop, it just happened a bit sooner than we planned."  
Emma got a good look at Peach's eyes when she looked away for a second, they were such a lovely purple, there wasn't even the glisten of a tear, but it was obvious Peach missed her father.

Peach focused her flower colored stare back on Emma. "So we're looking at an engraving first and last name or just "Sheriff and your last name?"

"Isn't there some regulation standard?" Emma seemed uncomfortable at the idea of making that kind of choice.

"It's a small town and you're the one with the gun, I can do whatever you like Sheriff." Was Peach related to Gold? Emma could have sworn she saw that expression on the man's face during their last encounter.

"I hate to ask this, but Mr. Gold, is what to you?" Emma didn't give her any options, it would be an insult to presume something tawdry when she had just met her, and she was being so personable. She came up with one thing that seemed at least plausible. "Something more than your landlord?"

"Well, Mr. Gold is my landlord, he's also an investor in the shop, but most importantly, a friend. Ever since Dad died, Mr. Gold has kept an eye on me." She swept behind the counter, dropped the bloody tissue in the trash and grabbed a band-aid from inside the register. "He's not all bad." Peach tried to explain, about how kind he could be, about Mr. Gold's willingness to renegotiate his harsher bargains, about how all she can ever remember was Mr. Gold orchestrating things for the greater good; it's no use. With a statement like that he still sounded anything but lawful. Besides those are their stories, so she volunteered the most important information. "He, he's lonely."

Emma scoffs but finds herself reining it in when she sees how serious Peach is. "Well with more enemies than friends. You can't expect much else."

"With few options you can't expect him to follow all the rules." Peach seemed strangely caviler about the law, she was slowly becoming a strange outlier in the population of Storybrook. Emma's super power says Peach felt sincere about, her characterization of the man; Mr. Gold had a steadfast friend in Ms. Burke.

"Sheriff Swan, one N, but, you could give it a little flash, make it some how more personal?" She tapped the blank metallic plate, it was a good middle-ground, and she hadn't managed to make a totally enemy out of Ms. Burke.

"Sure thing Sheriff. You can pick it up tonight just before closing." She busied herself with neatening the area around the cash register.  
Emma started to leave but turned back. "What do I owe you?"  
Peach tilted her head in thought. "For letting me have a little artistic license with your name plate? And not flat out calling my friend a criminal to my face? That's uh, about cup ofcoffee and if you're feeling generous some pie." Peach smiled "Just because he's my friend doesn't mean he isn't Storybrook's version of the Godfather."

"As long as there's no horse head in my bed." Emma said as she turned and strolled out of the shop feeling a bit lighter than she did before she went inside.


	5. Who are you supposed to be?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Peach's fairytale counterpart shows up.   
> Henry also tries to figure out Peach's identity for operation cobra.

"Princess, tomorrow you will visit the families on the South route?" The guard began removing his hat and wringing it out, on the stone floor. Avoiding looking in the eyes of his almost queen.

"Colin! must you?" Betha, Princess Adelinde's nursemaid, and unoffical council had snuck up on the newly appointed Captain of the guard, just in time to catch him making a mess of water from his hat and mud from his boots onto the foyer floor. She struck him in the arm and pulled a rag from no where and began cleaning up after him.

"Well, you were trying to tell the Princess something, go on. Finish up."

Colin's blond hair was darker than usual, sweat and rain water made had made his mane limp and cling to the side of his tanned face. "I. Well." He sighed. "Adelinde the people would love to see you, and your strength." He looked away again, his hazel eyes were far too expressive for a military man.

Adelinde pulled her shoulders back taking a page from her father's book of standing tall in the face of, well everything. "I'd be happy to, if the people need to see me rebuilding fences, and flexing my." She paused, rolling her eyes. "Muscles, then that is what I shall do. My strength is for them, and I will show it to them whenever they wish."

Colin shuffled his feet as minimally as possible, lest he anger Betha again.

"It is appreciated."Colin said looking more like a lost dog than a Captain.

Adelinde fought of a frown. "Of course it is, it's all I can do. Protecting them is beyond my power so I'll lift some heavy trash, throw some loggs around for fences, put up a wall or two and take a bow."

She glared at Colin "I'm glad that our kingdom's soldiers have a day off coming to them. They must be exhausted from watching ruffians tear down villagers homes."

Betha had finished with the floor just in time to reprimand Adelinde. "Enough of that." She crossed the space between Captain and Princess before speaking. "You cannot blame men for human weakness. You, princess, have never known mortal fear, not truly. I advise you to try to remember that when addressing men who must humble themselves and beg their monarch for favors."

Betha spun back around and handed Colin the dirty wash rag. "Go warm yourself in the kitchen."

He was a soldier first, and his training had taught him to look for his leader's instruction. He looked to Adelinde.

"Have someone find you clean clothes and we'll talk more after the meeting." Adelinde was already feeling guilt for the tone she took with Colin. She was frustrated, but taking it out on her council was a childish thing to do.

Colin looked as if he wanted to make a comment, something referring to his opposing view of the meeting she was soon to take, but Adelinde had already shown her less then warmest face to him once today. That was enough for him. He left, feeling his majesty's dismissal of him.

Betha wiped her hands on her apron. " Shall we wait together your rudness?"

"Yes Betha, I think I would very much like you here while we wait for him."

___Back to Storybrook___

Around six Henry came by asking if she wanted him to help her close up early, with it being her birthday and all.

Peach smiled sweetest child ever, She thought.

By 6:30 the shop was in order and they were eating some of her birthday cake at the counter and keeping an eye on the door. Trying to figure out when Emma would arrive to pick up the name plate for her badge. 

Peach had given Henry her pearch behind the counter so he could sit and eat, leaving less chance for a icing related disater. Peach stood on the outside of the counter adjusting a few display pieces now and again. "You and my mom don't really get along." Henry said in between mouthfuls of cake.

"Can't win 'em all." Peach wrinkled her nose, trying to pretend it didn't bug her. "I'm Mr. Gold's friend and I don't keep that a secret, also I may push too hard to get her to try to buy something when she's in here.

Peach ran the toe of her shoe along the line of the rug. Not noticing that her foot was now on a collusion course with a recently moved scarf tree. When it did hit she had to remind herself not to curse. "Yoweee, that's gunna leave a mark." Peach cringed and shook off her shoe. Her toes already purpling. She jumped around a bit, and looked at the clock "I'm just gunna go, deal with my foot turning purple, let me know when your bio-mom gets here."

Peach hobbled through the store making her way to the mini fridge in the back, Emma came through the door just as Peach made it to the fridge. Henry slid off the stool and ran to her side to say hello. "Hey kid, where's Ms. Burke?" Henry lit up as Emma ruffled his hair.

"Peach, it's Peach Sheriff Swan" She shouted from the back.

Emma smiled at Henry.

"The plate is over here." Henry said running behind the counter and lifting the lid on the small wooden box. Henry leaned over as Emma did from the other side of the counter, their heads almost bumping together.

"So who do you think she is?" Henry looked up at his mother. Emma's head snapped up, her eyes glinted in the shop lights. Her face was frozen between pleased to see the hopeful Henry back, and somewhat dissapoted to see he was still deep in his delusion, his world. Operation Cobra rears its head again. "Got any theories?"

She shook her head. "Not really."  

"Well, Peach is kind of delicate...well physically, anyway. I think she's the Princess from the Princess and the Pea. She bruises easily, has a thing about peas, and some of her jewelry has fork motifs." He lowered his voice. "The only thing missing is Rumpelstilskin."

"Kid, if I remember correctly Rumpelstilskin isn't in that one."

"Well in my book, he is." Henry countered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some versions of the Princess and the pea say that it was a fork under the mattress... some also say that talking animals told her that she had to stay up if she wanted to marry the prince... the fork thing is the only relevant information right now though ;)


End file.
